2011 Season Preview

     Welcome back Hebrews and Shebrews, for another exciting season of WWS Revival fantasy football.  This season promises to be the most exciting, yet most classless season ever.  I liken this season to the MTV movie awards, exciting but lacking any actual integrity as an awards show.  Who will take home the coveted Ryan Leaf Commemorative Trophy this year?  It's anyone's guess. 

     Let's start the new season by welcoming the two newest teams and their coaches.  The man, the myth, the legend, my dad will be coaching the Kenosha Hershey Squirts.  As many of you know, the D.C Clam Faces play in Tractor Trailer Stadium, which is of course and homage to Big Lou Olsen.  WWSW was able to catch up with Coach Big L after a recent draft meeting:

I am looking forward to squashing all of you youngsters into the ground.  Especially that Sweeney kid.  I never gave him permission to name a stadium after me.  Tell you what, my teams stadium is going to be called "Brian Sweeney's Tiny Penis Field".  How do you like that?  Doesn't feel so good does it?  Maybe we can get a statue and place those giant telescopes right in front of your likeness' crotch.  Can't wait to play that nerd in my stadium.

     Harsh words from an old man.

     The other newest coach is Nick Leiting, my brother-in-law, his team is something stupid and racist.  Nick is a guy who studies the game of football, he studies it like a man who studies things.  Sometimes I think that he may be having an affair with an NCAA regulation sized football.  But, then I grab a beer and forget all about it.  Nick has been pissing and moaning about Wally picking the draft order all week:

What kind of an asshole let's a dog pick something as important as the draft order?  Commissioner Kinzie has once again shown why he is the # 1 asshole in the state of Pennsylvania.  I've never met Wally, but I am pretty sure he was paid off to pick the way he did.  If I ever see that dog in a dark alley, I am going to pet the shit out of him...literally.  I will pet that dog until he drops a deuce right there on Lou's shoe.  Knowing Lou, it would probably be red high-heels with some sort of gold buckle on it.  Homo. 

      
     I think I speak for everyone when I say, I hope you both have the worst fantasy football seasons ever.  But then again, there are still two teams from Madison who will fight you tooth and nail to preserve their horrific stench from last season.

     We have a few changes to report.  First, the pathetic Madison Firebirds, under the leadership of football dunce Davy Wagner, have changed their team name to...The Banana Hammocks.  The Chicago Dingleberries have been relocated, due to poor ticket sales, to Philadelphia were people are generally dick bags.  Last but not least, last years Silver Medalist Blake Derr, has decided to lose the CYO and go with something we can all embrace...the Waukesha Claymakers.  Mark all of these changes down, lest you feel like a jack-ass at the draft when you are the only one who says, "Who are the Banana Hammocks?"  You should have read the blog dip shit. 

     For those of you to lazy to watch a video, here is the draft order for Sunday:

1) Claymakers  2) Banana Hammocks  3) Chupacabras  4) Rainbows  5) Dingleberries  6) Tree Humpers  7) Hershey Squirts  8) Affirmative Blacktion  9) StreetGangsterz  10) Sweeney


     I am thrilled to be back as the lead editor of this blog.  John Travolta is back and fired up for this season.  Unfortunately Ryan Leaf will not be back this season, but his memory will live on each season when a new winner is crowned.  You may be wondering, who will do the interviews on the blog this season?  Well, all I can tell you right now is that the odds are poor that Tyson will agree to do an interview.  If he wouldn't do one with Ryan Leaf, he probably won't want to do one with..... (this is what we call a cliffhanger)

     Best of luck this season, you dirty dirty sluts...that goes double for you Cozine.