Playoff Preview - West Division

-->

 By Morgan Freeman

Football. Whether a fantasy or a real game with real consequences, it’s power over us cannot be ignored. We watch helplessly from week to week, thinking that our cheers will somehow impact the outcome. But the truth remains -- investing in football means investing in something greater than oneself.  The West Wilson Street Revival League stands for all that is right, and so horribly wrong with competition.

My job today, is to walk you through each team and their hope for Ryan Leaf immortality.  Some will be happy and others will be the opposite of happy.  Many will try, but only one will succeed.  Could it be a team from the Western Division for the third consecutive season, or will the East finally rise up and meet the vast challenge that lies before them.

I am Morgan Freeman, and this ......... is my Western Division playoff preview.

Affirmative Blacktion: 

1982-2012

Mathematically eliminated from post season play, the only professional sports team in the state of Alaska has fallen well short of their preseason hopes. All they can do now is pray that they win the Crapper Bowl and avoid being renamed by a league of perverts. Rather than this weekend’s matchup with the Sandusky Disciples being a statement game, it is nothing more than a wave of the white flag. With only 7 active players on the roster, Coach Craig “The Mexskimo” Moylan must now spend the remainder of the season deciding which two players will stay with him for 2013, and who will go pack into the cesspool we call a draft. Odds of Making Post-Season: 0%

Madison Scrotum Smashers:

...stupid.

The reigning champs have pulled off miracles before, thanks to Coach Nic Tyson’s amazing coaching. Last season they snuck into the post-season as a sub-par wild card entry.  They finished with the Ryan Leaf Trophy. Truly, one of the more blessed seasons in the history of this storied league. So far this season, his magic seems to have worn out its welcome. He took a huge risk in keeping Cam Newton and Jamaal Charles, both whom have underperformed.  Star WR Greg Jennings has missed most of the season, ironically, with some testicular issues. While the Smashers remain just one game out of the playoff hunt, three straight loses this late in the season can be the difference between the Leaf Tournament and the Turd Tourney.  But in order to repeat, his team will need to score more points.  They have currently tallied the second fewest points in the league, only outscoring the pathetic Blackies by 23.  Odds of Making Post-Season: 20%

K-Town Bootleggers:

...according to GIS

In 2011, the Bootleggers were the class of the league and winners of the Western Division…then they defecated in the bed during the 1st round of the Ryan Leaf Tournament.  This season, they have all of the fire power the 2011 team did, but with worse luck.  Through 9 weeks, the Bootstrap Bill Turner’s have had the most points scored against them in the league.  A whopping 1338.7 points have been put up so far, for an average of 148.7 pts scored against him each week.  That is a very tall obstacle to overcome on a week by week basis.  They currently hold the 3rd and final spot in the Western division, if the season ended today.  But their hopes of winning the division are slim to mostly none, as they are 4 games back, with 4 games to go.  But they can solidify their playoff hopes with a win against the Scrotum Smashers this weekend.  A 2 game lead with 3 games to play, should be more than enough for them to hold off Coach Tyson and Co., therefore making it into the Tournament of Champions.  Odds of Making the Post-Season: 65%

Sandusky Disciples:

Smooth, Lou.

Cellar dwellers in 2011, and Ryan Leaf Champions in 2010, the Disciples seem to be back to their winning ways.  Currently they are the highest scoring team in the league, but have had the 3rd most points scored against them.  That is a recipe for a 5-4 record to this point.  There is no denying that on any given week this team can score with the best of them, but they also have plenty of miscues.  Matt Stafford was an addition prior to the draft, whom has vastly underperformed.  They have had inconsistencies from the D/ST position all season long.  But, thanks to Arian Foster, Robert Griffin III, and Doug Martin this team is in prime position to clinch their playoff spot this weekend.  A Disciples win and Scrotum Smasher loss would punch their RLT ticket.  This team has the makings of a 2011 Scrotum Smashers, plenty of fire power without the impressive regular season record.  You can also look for this team to have a new name in 2013.  Odds of Making the Post-Season: 85%

Rochester Spinning Cosmos:

Hardcore.

Thanks to Coach Daniel Cozine and his astronomical drafting technique, the Cosmos are already planning for the RLT.  At this point it is mathematically impossible for them to not be a participant in this tournament of champions.  The bigger goal, winning the Western division…WHICH, they can put out of reach with a win this weekend, against the Eastern division leading Philadelphia Butt Pirates.  I do not intend to belittle what this team has accomplished, but they have had the least amount of points scored against them in the 2012 campaign.  Opponents are only scoring an average of 128.2 points per week, while Cozine is scoring an average of 144.8 a week.  This is clearly the best team in the league as I am writing this, but as we saw last season…the best regular season team does not always march onto the Ryan Leaf Memorial Trophy.  However, I expect this team to rest up and be ready for post-season play.  Odds of Making the Post-Season: 100%

Morgan Freeman’s Prediction:

In the first round, I believe the K-Town Bootleggers will have to travel to Seattle to face the Sandusky Disciples.  Seattle has not hosted a WWSR postseason game since the 2010 Championship and you can bet that “The Shower” will be rocking.  In the end, I believe that the Disciples will be too much for the Bootleggers too handle.  However, we are going to get another look at these two teams on the same field in Week 12.  The outcome of that game could change the location of the 1st round game, as well as the momentum in this postseason.  Morgan’s pick: Disciples win 165.3 to 152.1

The Western Division Championship Game will be decided in the trenches.  It will come down to the Kickers and the D/ST.  These two teams can go punch for punch at every other position, but this is where a coach really earns his legacy.  At the end of that fateful Monday night, I suspect that the Spinning Cosmos will be more than the Disciples can handle.  The Bears D/ST has been the driving force behind the Coach Cozine Machine.  They will not disappoint late in the season and will push the Cosmos into the Ryan Leaf Championship Game for the first time in the history of their franchise.  Morgan's Pick: Cosmos win 154.9 to 141.7