Now, as for the football...........you guys need to figure out who is good and who is not good. The lack of dominance by any one team is just bizarre. Here is the Cliff's Notes; we had a 1 point game, a team almost come back from a 40 point deficit, a win for both of the teams from Madison, and a black on gay beat down. Add a baby to that and you have yourself a Halloween Football shit stew. Like if Battlefield Earth and Urban Cowboy had a baby, then that baby got it on with Lady Gaga. That baby would be a fair representation of this weekend's games. Just one big cluster-fuck.
Let's talk about Madison, in a good way for a change. Both the Firebirds and the Chupacabras went out and beat two 1st place teams. Naturally the two "zombie" teams in the league capitalized on a holiday dedicated to creepy dead things. The Chupacabra's went into last night's game with a 40 point lead, then slowly watched it dwindle down to a narrow 5 point victory. You know what they say Olsen, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. In D.C., Firebirds QB David Garrard scored 38 points en route to a victory over the Clamskies at Tractor Trailer Stadium. My heart wants me to tell you that this was just a fluke and that these two teams are still bottom feeders. The reality, in this league if they catch a little fire they could be right back in it. The problem with having no teams dominating in the standings is that everyone is a playoff contender. Watch out for the boys from Mad-town from here on in.
There is no surprise that the game of the week was happening in Chicago. I spent a few minutes talking to Coach Craig this morning, and he really said it best,
The game between Chuck and Blake was awesome this week. I'll admit, it's the first time I've ever "watched" a fantasy football game. Coming down to
the Monday night game, 3 active players, Schaub with -1 at the half, one
amazing Indy receiver per side...Congratulations to Coach Derr.
I could not agree more. This was one pass play away from being "The Tie 2: Quest for Neutrality". An amazing game, that really got my juices flowing..........straight football juices.......not those gay John Travolta juices. If you missed this game, you should punch yourself clean in the nuts. Unless of course you had a kid 2 days ago, then you get a free pass. Let's take a look at this weeks games:
WEEK 8 RE-CAP
FIREBIRDS vs CLAMS
128 119
This was a close game, but there is no questions that David Garrard and Matt Stafford won this game by themselves. The two QB's combined for 70 points, while the remaining 8 players on the team had 58. How can you look at this any other way? In our league, the average quarterback scores right around 17 points per game. If the Firebird QB's would have played to average, this game would have been a blow out. Instead, they both decided to double the average and in doing so defeated the East division leading Clama Jamas. The Clams really lucked out in the standings, because rather than falling into a tie with the Crap Slinging Slashers, he remains 1 game ahead of the Poop's and the CYO's.
I was all jacked up on Mountain Dew as I got to talk with Coach Wagner after the game:
They are better than we are. There is no doubt in my mind about that. On this particular Sunday we were able to draw power from beyond the grave. (Do you mean ghosts?) Ghosts?!?!?! Shit, are you goofy. I'm talking about crack cocaine son. Mix that shit up in a cauldron with some cinnamon and baking soda, then you know what you got? Unstoppable QB juice. Next week I will probably need to make a bigger batch, but they put a cap on my crack purchases down at Ol' Tony's crack house. Might need to have some of the guys use there star power so we can make more unstoppable juice next week.
RAINBOWS VS BLACKIES
104 127
The Black Snake Moans continue to prove that they are the best team in the league. This win puts them alone atop the West division. Next week they will low-ride into Clark Sweeney Memorial for a rematch of "The Tie". Normally I would blast the Rainbows for another loss, but the coach was distracted by having a child. I will however, comment on the fact that Brett Favre remains on this roster. You need to get that Kodak weenie off your team, because let's face it The Village People have been 1-4 since. Now I am not saying the shaft is entirely to blame, but it is the slightest bit ironic. Congrats to the Black Hammers for another great win. Dan had the baby? Alright!! Way to go big guy. It couldn't have happened to a better homo. (What about the game?) Who cares about the game Travolta?!?!?! My gay pal Dan just had a baby. Sometimes you have to realize that there are more important things than football. The hierarchy goes; Beer, Broads, Bitches, Babies, and Ball. If you live your life in that order of importance, you can not go wrong. The Rainbows may have lost on the football field, but they won life today.
CHUPAS VS HUMPERS
127 125
It is very difficult for me to say positive things about the Chupacabras. Their coach refuses to speak with Ryan Leaf, they have been the worst team in the league all season, and I just flat out don't like Chupacabras. I am a goat lover you see. Now that I have that in the open, they played a good game. The whole team played very solid, no one blew the doors of the place but they all did their jobs. It got a little scary as that 40 point lead started to dwindle away last night, but what else could we have expected on Halloween. We should have all realized that a Chupacabra would draw alot of strength from this sacred holiday. Let's hope that every week does not turn into Halloween, because I would never live it down.
Some one spoke to Coach Tyson after the game, but it sure as hell wasn't anyone at this publication:
It is the first time that I have been proud of this team. This is a rag tag group and to be honest with you, I was fairly certain we would still lose even with that 40 point lead. That is a really good team over there, but today we had more Halloween spirit. Chupa the mascot was really getting into the spirit, I never in a million years would have thought I would watch him eat that entire goat at halftime. I know the fans in Madison are pretty excited about it, but we are still 3.5 games back so we have a lot of work to do for next week. Ryan Leaf is a bitch.
CYO VS DINGLES
81 80
What a pathetically low scoring game, but how exciting was it? It was back and forth all night long and we still were not sure who would win until the clock struck 0's. To think that we were only one pass play away from having another tie, or a completely different game outcome. This game was really important in the standings as well, putting the CYO's into a tie for second with the Turd Ticklers. This game is without a doubt the antithesis of this league. Form one week to another it is impossible to have any idea who will win and how they will do it. The Poo Poo Platters continue to be very (no pun intended) shitty at home, posting a 1-3 record in Chicago. Hat's off to the CYO team for holding on to that lead like (no pun intended) a man choking his girlfriend after a long night of drinking with his friends.
We spoke to someone after the game:
What is this for?(WWS Weekly, I'm John Travolta) I know who you are, I saw you in that movie about Samuel L. Jackson. I don't know anything about wrestling though, sorry. (No, it's not wrestling, it's fantasy football.) Who the fuck would want to read about that? Look Mr. Travolta you paid me for an hour, so are we gonna get it on or do you just want to ask me goofy ass questions all night?
Well, another week down. I can not wait to see what next week holds for us. Generally, you would have a picture of Ines or Jenn below. Since it is Halloween, I wanted to chose something relatively disturbing yet still smoking hot. If you don't like it, no worries because the usual gals will be back next week. Have a safe week everyone. Until next time, I'm John Travolta and you're not.
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| She can murder me, any time. |
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