Holy High Scores Batman!!

article by: John Travolta

     This week we saw some amazing offensive outputs, 6 out of the 8 teams scored 146 points or more this weekend.  Guys, this is what the people want and it is about time you gave it to them.  Nobody wants to see 86 - 92 fantasy scores, they want 173-159.  For the first time all season, I have mostly good things to write about.  That turn of events could lead to a boring article, but you know they can't all be Saturday Night Fever.

     Let's get this out of the way now.  The Rainbows and Firebirds where on the short bus this weekend.  With their scores combined they only scored 148 points.  I am surprised by this, especially after last weekends impressive wins.  Both teams are still right in the thick of the playoff hunt, but any loss this time of the season is not going to be good.  The Rainbows lose their hold on the division lead and the Birds miss a golden opportunity to pull ever closer to the playoffs.  Neither team can afford to lose next week, but both face tough tests in the Humpers and Clam Faces.

     The league scoring record was broken this weekend at Clark Sweeney Memorial Stadium, as the Seattle Tree Humpers scored 173 points en route to a 173 - 159 victory over the Clammy's.  Very rarely in this sport do you see a team score 159 points in a loss, but you can just add that to the list of tough breaks for the Clams on this 4 game losing streak.  From 5-2 and leading the division, to 5-6 and in danger of missing the playoffs all together.  Coach Sweeney has to be scratching his head after this weekend.  By far the most odd stat of this game, Coach Olsen had his TE score 0 points........yet they scored 173.  What a game.

     One last thing I'd like to touch on, this is going to be a very busy Blog week.  Squeak will be back with Power Rankings, Wally is going to be doing something, and of course the farewell interview from Ryan Leaf.  As we go into the final playoff push, things around WWS Weekly are going to get crazy.  Things could get out of hand.  Just a heads up.  Here are the games:


Week 11 Re-Cap


FIREBIRDS    vs    CHUPAS
       62                           160

     Is it possible that Nic Tyson, the most hated man in the history of John Travolta, could defeat someone by almost 100 points?  Yes, it is possible.  The universe aligned for coach Tyson and his team absolutely prison pounded the Firebirds, who had been coming off a two game winning streak.  Only two Firebirds players scored in double digits, neither breaking 20.  Tyson's team had 2 players score 0, but he still found a way to rattle off 160.  What the fuck Nic?  How can you be a dirty dog dump week in and week out, but then go out and demolish someone by this margin?  I thought it was impossible to hate someone more than I hate you, but guess what?  You topped yourself in the rankings.  I hate you more than now than I did last week, which I honestly thought was impossible. 
     Tyson sent this message in a bottle:

If you have found this letter, I am probably dead.  Should I still be alive and you find this letter, it means I swept the Firebirds!!  Truly the Chupacabras are the only Madison team to cheer for.  If you found this letter, but do not speak English, please take it to the nearest translator so you can be disappointed.  What can I say?  Disappointment is sort of my thing and I am not sorry. 

CYO    vs    RAINBOWS
 146                   86

     Another win for the CYO, puts their current winning streak at 4 games.  The Rainbows never had a chance in this game, the gays are a very non-violent people.  Meanwhile the CYO roster is nothing but mass murderers and fat chick rapists.  Now the Rainbows must re-group and get a win in D.C. next weekend against the clams.  As for the CYO's they hold the key to their own destiny, with a one game lead in the division and only 3 games to go.  Not much else to say about this game.  The CYO's police record was just too much for the clean and industrious homo's from Rochester.
     A few words from Coach Cozine:

Of course I am upset Travolta!!  How are you even a reporter?  Does Scientology give you the power of amazing insight?  No!  Stop coming to every game.  Stop calling my house at 2 am.  Stop coming by my house on Tuesday mornings for a sound byte.  Here is your sound byte for this week, "Pulp Fiction would have been better with Carrot Top playing Vincent".  Now get off my property you Hollywood piece of shit. 

BERRIES    vs    BLACKIES
     154                       146

Get it?  Black.......Berries.............

     This was a game that both teams needed to win, but when it came down to closing the door the Poop Patrol was able to take care of business.  The Blackies appear to be stumbling across the finish line a little bit.  With only 3 weeks left, you just can not afford to lose games, especially in this league.  Much like our game of the week, it is hard to score almost 150 points in a loss.  The only thing that the Blackies can do is knock off a convenience store and try again next week.  As for the Shit Storms, they played inspired football and they will need that ginger power to continue for the next 3 weeks.  Great game for both teams, but sadly we can only have one winner.
     The Ginger King had this to say:

I have been waiting all year for my defense to have a huge game and we finally got it.  They were probably mad that I made them eat some ginger pubes before the game.  What?  Sometimes you need to take drastic measures.  Some coaches scream and yell......I bake cookies with my pubes in it.  It's the only proven way to envelop that ginger power and hatred.  Look, if you told me that eating sheep shit would help me win games I would do it.  The Ginger pubes cookie works every time. 

CLAMS    vs    HUMPERS
    159                      173
    
     This game had so many emotions involved.  Obviously having Brian coach his first game in the stadium named after his father, was a big deal.  In retaliation, Sweeney announced that his stadium would be named after Coach Olsen's father.  Needless to say there is some bad blood between these two teams.  Not to mention that the last time these two teams played, the Clams got embarrassed at home.  The big story of this game was the scoring, a combined 332 points.  The Humperoos went bonkers, breaking the league record for points in a game (set last week by the CYO).  It is hard for me to imagine losing a game in which you score 159 points, but it is just another week for the Clams.  Having lost 4 games in a row, they do not have too much to be excited about right now.  This win puts the Humps alone in first place of the West division for the first time this season.
     Coach Sweeney jabbered on about nothing for a while:

Brandon Marshall is still a piece of shit.   Fuck Aaron Rodgers and his 38 points.  Fuck GREG JENNINGS WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHH and his 33 points.  Fuck the Steelers and their 22 point defense day.  Fuck you, by the way, Blake.  I'm taking over the blog for one day, and it's going to be all "Lou is gay" all the time.  I always end up at "anal" with you Travolta.  

     Gents, I can say without a doubt this was the most entertaining weekend you have ever had.  My hope is that this continues right into the playoffs.  This week we will continue our quest for the lamest players with the hottest wife.  Ex-NFL QB and current UFL QB Jeff Garcia is married to a lovely lady named Carmella DeCeasre.  This photo only proves that a ginger guy, with no real skills, can still land a smoking hot Spanish chick.  See you all next week!!