The Philadelphia Butt-Pirates Bring Home Title

written by Lou Olsen

On a blustery Sunday afternoon, two Division winners took the field.  Both coaches making their 2nd appearances in the Ryan Leaf Title Game.  One coach on the winning end, the other on the losing.  Either way, both men wandered into familiar territory to do battle this day. 

Earlier in the 2012 campaign, the Sandusky Disciples and Philadelphia Butt-Pirates met in a shoot out.  Over 365 points scored between the two teams, but the Butt Pirates prevailed by 2 points.  On Sunday, they doubled that total by winning the title in a 4 point contest.

In a game where no single player truly excelled, it would have been hard to pick an MVP.  Therefore, the MVP of the Championship was Head Coach Charles Ginger Rogers Kinzie himself.  A wedding on Saturday and coaching excellence on Sunday.  This was truly a Ginger weekend. 

As the coach on the losing end this weekend, I do not feel sad, nor do I make any excuses.  The team that I started on Sunday, gave me the best chance to win.  The only thing I will say, Darren Sproles was expected to score the least amount of points on my team...per ESPN...and yet he scored the most.  Once again proving that ESPN projections are about as useful as an aardvark in Antarctica. 

I am proud of Chuck for putting together a team that may not have looked the prettiest on paper, but was still able to win when it mattered most.  Plus...ummm he had a little extra going on this weekend, which makes me even prouder of him.  As his life long friend...this was just his weekend.  I was never going to win this game...and I couldn't be happier about it.

Earlier this week I told my Dad and Nick that if I scored more than 130 points I would win.  I didn't do that and it played right into Charlies cold, soulless hands. 

As the head writer of the blog, I would like to thank everyone for allowing me to publicly humiliate you with words.  You are all good sports and I hope that next season is better as far as shit talking goes.  I know Sweeney and your reigning Ginger over-lord agree. 

So, since tonight is Christmas Eve, I know libations will be flowing freely.  Raise a class for Chuck and text him a picture of it.  Show your respect for the Champ and our Commissioner. 

In closing, the season is done.  All we can do now is cheer for our real teams (I assume many of us are Packers fans, so at least we still have that) and look forward to next years draft. 

Merry Christmas guys.  And for the record, I will be accepting trade offers on all players not named RGIII and Arian Foster.