Early this morning, a new era of fashion began. Dan Cozine unvailed the new line of NFL products for women, with 20 of his players modeling the outfits for the intimate crowd. Alyssa Milano was right by Mr. Cozine's side to unveil many of her own designs. "It was great working with Daniel, he is so sensitive and has such an amazing knowledge of women's fashion. I used to find myself wondering if maybe he was a woman in another life. Then we had sex, so......now I am just sort of confused."
The gala began, as these things often do, with superb drinks and lovely conversation. As a I talked tight ends with Brett Favre, a small table caught my eye off in the corner of the room. Several stunning gals were hovering around this table. I had to see for myself. Fighting through the crowd I got a little sneaky peek of a lighted mirror, and thought I saw some powder in the air. Then I saw it..............
Exactly what you see, is what I saw....as well. Steelers nail polish, hand lotion, bath salts, and an absolutely amazing brown sugar face scrub. How could a straight (supposedly) man come up with such an amazing line of make-up for the NFL goin' gal? I do not actually have an answer, it was more rhetorical. My hopes for the next part of the show could not be higher.
They filtered everyone in to a tiny dark room, the seating was very unique for a fashion show. There were four alley ways in the corners, as chairs filled the room accept for a small square in the center. Very similar to a football stadium perhaps? I don't know, I never watch the sport. All at once the lights began to flash and Journey blared through the room. Don't Stop Believing......I think, could have been Faithfully......I don't know Journey. I met Steve Perry in a rest stop bathroom once, totally by accident.
All of a sudden Tom Brady comes strutting down the alley towards my right side, when he reached the center he struck a pose. BAM!! The cutest pilate's pants with giant Patriots symbol across the booty. They fit him like a sexy satin glove. From there it was just a barrage of sexy man meat in fabulous NFL licensed products, products specifically designed for a woman. What an amazing accomplishment for Mr. Cozine. It seems as if everything is going his way right now, and this was just the icing on hie erotic cake. Then.............just when I began to make my way for the exit.........
BAM!!! AGAIN!!!!! Cozine pop's up from the center of floor, shooting straight up through it like a ...........well like a.............a penis I guess. That is probably the best way to describe it, I don't write non-music you'll have to forgive me. Cozine begins to rotate and then I see it, he is wearing women's cut jeans. These are Alyssa Milano designed hip-huggers, with that always classy Pittsburgh Steelers logo splashed on the right cheek. Nothing says, "I am a classy broad" than any reference to be being from Pittsburgh. Mr. Cozine, my purple velour hat goes off to you. I knew nothing of your sport, or you as a person. But I just might be your numero uno fano senor. The line is full of intimate things only a woman could truly understand about fashion. If I did not know any better I would think he was a regular old poof. In all seriousness, my sincerest congrats to you and yours on your newest endeavor. There is no doubt it will be an amazing success Mr. Daniel.
All Of My Love,
Elton
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