How Many Players Can Go On IR In One Season? Week 7 wrap-up

article by John Travolta

     It just does not get any easier does it coach?  Tony Romo becomes the most recent IR casualty this week, with a broken collar bone which will put him on the sidelines for 8-10 weeks.  Which in Cowboy football talk means, "See ya next year Tony!".  This has really been the season of injuries and being able to adapt to those injuries.  The whole Chupacabra team might as well be on the IR the way they play (or don't). 

     Not too much happened on the Brett Favre's penis front this week, although he did admit to leaving those creepy voicemails.  It's easy to deter questions about your penis when you fracture your ankle, while throwing 3 interceptions in a lose to the team that made you famous.  It is officially raining shit on Brett Favre and his team.....the Rochester Rainbows.  Just a few short weeks ago they were the toast of the town, but now they are nothing more than a dumpster rat trying to fight his way through mounds of garbage.  This team needs to do themselves a favor and let him walk away into the ol' homosexual sunset.  Everyone in that locker room needs to start focusing on football instead of #4's manwich. 

     In a surprise tactical move, coach Derr decided to test the commissioners policy about starting players on their Bye week.  Turns out it did not matter, since he went on to lose by 40 points.  The commissioner did make it very clear at the start of the game, hangover and all, that no matter the score coach Derr would be taking one in the loss column.  Some might say this was a stupid move, but to this reporter coach Derr was only trying to test the boundaries of this league.  Every tyrant needs to be tested;  Hitler had the U.S, Simon Cowell had Paula Abdul, and The Westboro Baptist Church has...........everyone.  This was a coach making a statement, but unfortunately he was struck down by "the man".

     This paragraph is usually reserved for the game of the week, but to be honest with you they were all pretty one sided.  Instead I will take this opportunity to make fun of the Chupacabras, especially since Tyson will be interviewed later this week.  If I was a Chupacabra right now, I would pack up my space bags and head right back to whatever mutant galaxy I came from.  How could a fictional creature be more embarrassed than this?  Maybe if Bigfoot got his dick stuck in a vacuum cleaner on The View, or the Lochness Monster popped a couple of Viagra and floated to the surface and just looked like a log for 4 hours.  If I was a Chupacabra living the continental U.S, I would head straight for Canada where no one cares about football eh.  Look Who's Talking Too isn't this bad. 

Let's get to the games:


Week 7 Re-Cap


CYO    vs    Humpers
N/A              Enough

      You are reading those scores correctly.  Due to league ruling, the score of this game does not matter.  We here at WWS Weekly just felt like this pretty much gave you what you needed to know.  The Humpers move to 4-2-1 on the season and move into a tie for first in the West.  Meanwhile the choke collars will have to try and get their coach to a computer at least once this week so he can set a valid lineup.  That game plan might pay off as the season moves forward.  Stats did count in this game however, as Michael Turner and Knowshon Moreno combined for 46 points.  We caught up with Coach Olsen,  Indian style, at mid-field:

You really hate to win that way, but at the same time I'm sure I won't fucking care in about 3 minutes.   Not sure why I still made the guys go out there and actually play.  Next time can we get more notice, I could have slept in this morning.  Derr, what an asshole.

Firebirds    vs    Blackies
    88                       159

     This game never even seemed close.  I would have to do some research, but this may have been one of the worst beat downs in league history.  Naturally it came at the hands of a strong black man.  Coach Craig now shares the lead in the West division, by just going out and taking care of business.  The Firebirds just can not catch a break, Vince Young was a late scratch and Romo's year is over.  This team is just the victim of an injury plagued NFL season.  This game really puts them in a deep hole...........again, at the hands of a strong black man.  The Dark Knight gave us a few minutes after the game:

We just can not stop scoring points.  I mean it.  I have tried to stop them late in games, you know what they do?  Usually they pull a knife on me, but we encourage that.  Not the running up the score, the knives.  I actually teach a Mugger Safety Training class in the off season.  Sometimes I think the game would go faster if they would let up off the gas.  It's like they are stealing a car, don't stop until it stops.  Hey, that might be our new motto: Don't Stop Until It Stops

Clams    vs    Chupas
   99                    76

     Coach Sweeney did not even break 100 points, yet he winds up with almost a 25 point victory.  Again the Chupacabras prove that their season is just about done for.  Time to pack up the truck and get ready for next year.  The Clams have now rattled off 3 straight victories, putting themselves atop the East with a league best 5-2 record.  Did I also mention that Coach Sweeney only started one QB!!  There are no rules against having an open slot on game day, it just sort of makes you a dumb ass.  Leave it to Sweeney to get away with something as pointless and nonsensical as that.  Here is a Sweeney quote:

If we would have lost today, I am fairly certain I might have just drove myself out into the middle of nowhere and waited for death.  We could have played better today I guess, but I never want the guys to get to comfortable.  That's why we only started one QB today.  I wanted to challenge my guys to win a game without all of our weapons.  Plus I knew that Tyson couldn't beat us anyways.

Dingles    vs    Rainbows
   132                     67

Is that Mr. Hankey?

     The score says it all for this game.  The Dingleberries continue to fight with the Clams for first place in the East, while the Rainbows appear to be falling apart.  This may be the only Rainbow without a pot of gold at the end, unless Coach Cozine can turn this baby around.  If I may impart, I was once in a movie called Face/Off with Nicholas Cage.  At that time he was the hottest actor in Hollywood, but now he is playing wizards and demons on motorcycles.  Not sure where I was going with this.  The Rainbows need to be the mid 90's Nic Cage, not the Sorcerer's Apprentice Nic Cage.

We almost doubled them up this week, so that makes me feel good.  We gingers are a proud people who often times get over-shadowed by the gay community, so it felt good to steal the spotlight away for a day.  Now we must go back to living in caves and plotting to gingerfy the rest of the world.  If you'll excuse me. 

     Every week I feel like things just can not get any more bizarre.  Yet, every week something goofy happens and I am the one who gets to deal with it.  Meanwhile that bitch Ryan Leaf gets to do his fluffy little interviews.  Anyways, this week you get Sterger again.  Only because Ines has sort of removed herself from the American media spotlight.  Leave a comment below if there is someone new you would like to see next week.  Maybe a smoking hot sports reporter I have never heard of, or a picture of some random hot sports fan.  Until then, enjoy.